Band Name: Death From Above 1979 got sued by Death From Above records (you know, The Rapture’s label before they got all overproduced by Universal), but DFA1979 is from Canada, so they do not have any laws! That’s how badass they are! The Verdict: They’re outlaws, Dotty, rebels.
Album Art: This cover is sick! Dear graphic […]
Band Name: D.S.13 stands for Demon System 13. What the fuck, dudes? I know you are Swedish, but Demon System, are you serious? At least you could have been cool like YNGWIE and named yourself after a piece of modernist IKEA furniture. I hope they tour in a Volvo. The Verdict: More like Demon Suckyname […]
Band Name: Stacy Peralta is so crucially skate thrash. Honestly, I’m shocked that nobody else hasn’t called their supersweet skate band Bones Brigade. You’d think they’d have checked that one off the list circa 1982. The Verdict: The only skate band with a better name is S.T.R.E.E.T.S., which you just can’t rival.
Album Art: I’m […]
Band Name: I like pigs. Why would anyone want to destroy a pig? They just wallow around all day, they aren’t hurting anyone!! THEY ARE CUTE DIDN’T YOU SEE THE MOVIE BABE OR CHARLOTTES WEB?? THEY MAKE OINK NOISES!! Only the heaviest of heavy metal dudes would want to destroy such a wonderful barnyard denizen, […]
Band Name: Lightning Bolts never strike the same place twice. Unless that place is Provi-dance, RI, in which case they strike with rather alarming regularity. The Verdict: Lighting Bolt: there’s one between the AC and the DC.
Album Art: If Pablo Picasso, Hans Hoffman, and a 10 year old boy got into a fight, I’m pretty […]
Band Name: If you are Swedish and your name is Yngwie, either you are a piece of furniture from IKEA, or you are destined to play shred guitar like it’s nobody’s business. The Verdict: Pretty sure I’m sitting on the YNGWIE chair right now…
Album Art: While most heavy metal guitarists do battle with dragons figuratively, […]
Band Name: Mastodons are like giant, hairy, prehistoric elephants. Except that they have huge tusks, specially bred for slaying and impaling non-believers of metal. The Verdict: Awesome, despite going extinct.
Album Art: How sick is this cover? There is a warhorse, whose guts are being exploded by the fury of pure, unrestrained heavy metal at a […]
Band Name: If you’ve got a gun, shoot ‘em in the head, that’s a sure way to kill ‘em. If not, grab a torch or a club. Beat ‘em or burn ‘em, the Creepniks go down pretty easy. The Verdict: A truly awesome horror band name that sounds like it would be a truly […]
Band Name: Can you think of a positive band without the word “youth” in the name? You can’t can you! That’s because there aren’t any! (Those of you who thought of Good Clean Fun are going to get knifed unless you change your answer to uphold my theory). The Verdict: Totally Massive.
Album Art: What do […]
Band Name: Hanson would be a good name if just one dude in the band was named Hanson. Ex: Dokken. If the band’s name is a surname, and there’s more than on member of the band with that surname, you need some sort of qualifier. Ex: The Jackson 5, The Allman Brothers Band. The only […]