http://www.plasticvicar.com/recordReviews Music reviews based solely on cover art and the band's name. Thu, 28 Dec 2006 23:22:31 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Band Name: "The Stooges" is an awesome name for a band. The only slight drawback is when some real funny person ask if it’s a power trio. The Verdict: Good Album Art: Iggy Pop is a scary lookin dude. I have a poster of Iggy Pop in drag looking all crazy ... http://www.plasticvicar.com/recordReviews/?p=3 Band Name: Lightning Bolt. High voltage, big scary clouds, can probably kill you but never strikes the same place twice. I think so. The Verdict: Good Album Art: One of the dudes in Lightning Bolt, I think the drummer, went to RISD. Maybe they both did. I can’t remember. This cover ... http://www.plasticvicar.com/recordReviews/?p=4 Band Name: Hüsker Dü. Umlauts. ‘Nough said The Verdict: Heavy Metal Album Art: A hand-colored photograph?? WHAT! Honestly dudes, what were you thinking? This album seemingly defies the Grand Unifying Theory. But wait! It was made in the early ’80’s, they didn’t know any better! The Verdict: Saved by the Time ... http://www.plasticvicar.com/recordReviews/?p=5 Band Name: Hellnation. The Verdict: Hellnation is in your face! Album Art: You have got to be kidding me. Where’s the pile of skulls, dudes? Nowhere! There is one token skull, but it’s all cartoony and not very hardcore at all. What color is the rest of the cover? Purple?! ... http://www.plasticvicar.com/recordReviews/?p=7 Band Name: Dada Swing. I simply do not care if Duchamp or Tzara were into having anonymous sex with many partners. The Verdict: Not catchy in the least. Album Art: Someone’s little brother just learned 3d Studio Max! The Verdict: Horrible. The Music: This album is just plain weird. There’s a ... http://www.plasticvicar.com/recordReviews/?p=8 Band Name: Doing a split release brings an added level of complexity. Let’s take it one-by-one. Dropdead is an obvious reference to Siege, which immediately makes them awesome. Totalitär is from some Scandinavian country and has an umlaut in their name, which also immediately makes them awesome. The Verdict: Siege ... http://www.plasticvicar.com/recordReviews/?p=9 Band Name: You can’t really make fun of someone’s real name. And besides, Sufjan is a pretty cool name. The Verdict: Good Album Art: It looks like a moody LJ pic that he took with the self-timer. The Verdict: Bad. The Music: Think everything Sufjan touches turns to gold? You obviously haven’t ... http://www.plasticvicar.com/recordReviews/?p=10 Band Name: Manowar. Whether it be a warship with lots of cannons, or a ocean creature that can kill you in 10 minutes, it’s still tough. The Verdict: Heavy Fuckin Metal. Album Art: Buff naked dudes, buoyant naked women, medieval weaponry, skulls, loincloths, beasts from hell, American flags, bondage gear. What’s ... http://www.plasticvicar.com/recordReviews/?p=17 Band Name: Pulling out the Gratuitous Umlaut clause, any band with a gratuitous umlaut must immediately be awesome and heavy metal. The Verdict: Awesome and heavy metal. Album Art: Some poor Proletarian being tortured and crushed by the unrelenting deathmarch of capitalist industrialization is about as generic as a grindcore album ... http://www.plasticvicar.com/recordReviews/?p=20 Band Name: They named their band "Base" instead of "Bass" as an erudite literary pun, eloquently demonstrating their complete grasp of the English language. That, and they didn’t want people to think they were the Ace of Bass (the freshwater fish of large- and smallmouth variety). The Verdict: A Masterwork. Album ... http://www.plasticvicar.com/recordReviews/?p=21